2005-01-22 - 11:20 a.m.
IT'S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY!
We officially got eight inches of snow between 6pm last night and 6am this morning. And it's still falling!
While this is typical Chicago weather in January, I can't help but be especially excited about it this year. I'm officially on my maternity leave and I won't have to worry about going to work in this stuff (or calling in sick because of it).
Hubby took my car to work today. Ya gotta love SUV's. My car slices through this stuff like nobody's business. He called me when he got to work and had no trouble at all. Yea! We win! I love when he calls me to let me know he's safe. He knows I'd worry about him.
I've just downloaded and printed out all the necessary forms so we can do our income taxes for 2004. This must be part of my nesting instinct because I felt an intense urge to get it done. Everything else is done for D-Day, so the only thing left to do was to make sure we file our taxes ASAP. It's not really urgent that we do them right away. I'll just feel better knowing I can at least get started on them since Hubby got his W-2's today and I got mine on Thursday. It's relieving to know we don't have to wait for any more important documents to start the process.
All is set to go now. We just have to do the taxes, double and triple check them, and use last year's copy as a guide since we didn't fuck those up at all.
Winning feels good. I should know.
Back to the excitement about the snow...
When I let the dogs out this morning, the snow was up to their chests. Since the snowblower broke last night, we haven't been able to get any of the snow shoveled. Hubby had counted on snowblowing and didn't really want to do it all the old-fashioned way because of his bad back. So he got more gas for it this morning and the special oil that it needs mixed in with it and he'll try again this evening when he gets home from work. Being a full nine months pregnant and no way about to attempt shoveling, I'm going to let him handle that. I don't need to do any manual labor. I have enough labor to do when Jack decides he wants to exit my heavenly womb.
Jack is sure busting my balls lately. Everytime he moves and kicks up, he's pushing himself down, farther and farther each time. I get stabbing pains in my pelvis and my hips hurt like hell because he's going to make his way out soon and needs to navigate the best way out. It's just another way of letting me know that he'll be in my arms soon.
The snow and the drop in the barometric pressure, on the other hand, may help him do just that. Plus, Hubby and I walked the dogs yesterday and I could feel gravity on my side. I was so tired I had to take a nap when we got home. I was beat! Walking, however, is good. It may be what I need to jumpstart Jack's arrival.
I get contractions. I believe they're Braxton-Hicks. They don't particularly feel productive, but they're there. I've had a few hard ones that make me stop and think, "Is this it?" But they aren't regular by any means. If they are, I sure don't know it. (Why would I? I've never done this before.) I figure I can't mistake "real" labor for anything else. I welcome my contractions. They remind me that my uterine orchestra is practicing for it's recital...the main event. I get an award for it, too, when it's all done. I get a son, my future Boss.
I shouldn't say "real" labor, though. All of your ninth month and beyond is considered labor month. Your body is preparing itself for what's to come. It's nice to know that it's so close now, maybe only days away. I hate vag exams because they feel so strange, almost painful. Hubby is always there when they take place and he always reminds me to breathe through it to help me relax. He's obviously been reading the book I bought him about being the birth partner. I'm so glad he read it. It makes me feel better that he's so actively involved in all of this. He's just as excited as I am.
He sings songs to the baby. He's always referring to the baby. He's got baby on the brain. And to think that I was worried in the beginning that I felt so alone in it. It really does take guys a while to adjust to the first impending addition to the family. (Babies are definitely not like puppies.) While I knew I was going to be a Mama when I still wasn't showing, he didn't quite feel like a Papa just yet. I guess the size of my belly reminds him daily that he will have a son to come home to in a short while.
I love my husband. I wouldn't want a child with anyone else. He's strong and loyal. He's fearless most of the time. He's so even-tempered and levelheaded. He's the yin to my yang. He's taken on a lot of the responsibilities regarding day-to-day business around this house. He's done all the grocery shopping. He's cleaned the house so much, and regularly. He even carries my laundry. He lets me rest and gear up for what's to come. He makes me drink water all the time. He makes sure I'm well-fed. He rubs my back and even wakes up early to feed the dogs and let them out if I'm not up to it. He's nesting. He insulated our bedroom crawlspace so that Jack doesn't get so cold. He bought a better space heater so that it's not so cold in our bedroom. He's consciously aware that we are truly a family. He's also making it easier on me to take off for maternity leave. I get about three months off because he's so good with our money. And he knows how to make money, too. It eases my stress level knowing that he's such a resourceful and diligent provider. He understands that my primary responsibility is that of the new baby and that a lot rests on me. Not having to go to work or worry about it will make our transition into parenthood a lot easier. It's a big job ahead of us, but we've never been more ready than we are now. I'm so lucky to have my husband. He's a major part of my life and he proves to me daily why I married the best man out there.
This year will be our first year where Mothers Day and Fathers Day mean more than just us being parents of dogs. We will actually have a child who will allow us to assume those titles, wear those new hats. We'll be more than just a man and a woman, a husband and a wife, a couple. We will be someone's parents. While the responsibility can be daunting at times, it's also allowing us a sense of pride...that we can accomplish something we've never attempted. We've truly carried this child together and we'll raise him together. It's extremely satisfying to know that we can venture into this unknown territory as a team. We will only be more amazed once he's physically here, out of the womb, screaming for his supper, and being cuddled by the most loving people he'll ever know. We created him. We will be his biggest fans, his most loyal support system, and his main sources of comfort, as well as discipline.
This is not an easy world to live in, but it's the only one we have. The best thing we can do for our son is to lead by example and allow him enough room to grow, make mistakes, and develop into a productive man in the future. Everything we do counts more now than it ever has before. We're not going to be perfect, but we're not going to be lousy, either. Having parents who will be as dedicated as us and our families being so supportive and loving, what better way could a baby be welcomed?
Jack Gregory Steier is loved by so many people right now. He's not out of the womb yet, but he will be any day now. And he's always going to have someone holding him and loving him and making him feel safe. What a lucky little guy!
And what a great day it will be when he finally arrives!
