2004-09-22 - 3:44 p.m.
Gosh, I seem to be getting bigger every day. This baby is growing like a weed. A little over two weeks ago, my sister and her family came into town and I swear I wasn't this big. It's amazing how fast a baby can grow. I can only imagine what I'm going to feel when he/she comes out and I can literally watch him/her grow outside of me. Outside of me... I never want to let this baby out. I want to keep him/her inside forever, even if I'm boiling to death.
Come on, Doc. Give me the ultrasound already so I can call this baby by his/her name!
Having a baby inside me makes me feel great. I am walking around, advertising the biggest thing that's happened to my life. My husband comes home, kisses me, kisses my belly, and then yells at the dogs to stop jumping. They're only excited to see him, but he guards my belly like a pitbull. I love it.
I stick straight out. From the back, I don't look pregnant. And then I turn around and my belly hits you in the face. I look strange, in a natural sort of way. I can't even begin to imagine how big I have yet to get. But it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I love this new shape I've taken. I feel very womanly and less stressed about having to keep up with the thinner masses. I am carrying a life inside of me and my roundness has a purpose.
I can't wait to meet who's going to come out. This baby keeps me from going insane when I feel like everything else in my life isn't working out. Deep down, I know that this baby saves me from getting too excited about things I can't control.
Work has been great. I work with really great people this year. We all seem to gel very well and the kids can see that. My students are better than last year's, plus I only see two classes each day. It's a joy. I see the same two groups for 122 minutes a day and it's not as hard as I thought it would be. In the back of my mind, I know maternity leave will come sooner than I think. And it comes at the right time. Late Winter/Early Spring.
I'm grateful for my Dad. He can handle me when others can't. (And vice versa!) And he loves me, even when I'm upset and angry and feel ignored and don't know what to do with my feelings. My baby is lucky to have a Punka like him. He can calm me down when no one else can. He steps in when I need him the most and he can keep me in line. He wants what's best for everyone involved and he's good to his baby daughter...me.
Step back. Let it go. Start a new page. Move forward. Ease up. Slow down. Chill out. Take a deep breath. And watch what happens when you do. Everything turns out in the end.
Thanks, Dad.
